Torn
by alisonkim428
Summary: When both Gale and Peeta leave to go to Iraq, they leave Katniss with a choice: Rebirth or destruction? Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a new story, so I hope you like it!**

**A special thanks to Jacking. Peetas. Style. for helping me, giving me a HUGE amount of advice on this story, and creating the title.**

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I walk into the bakery, hearing the wooden floors creak as I step in, feeling the warm air coming from the ovens. I flutter my hand over my right back pocket to make sure my old leather wallet is still there. Sure enough, it is. I walk over to the baker's son, Peeta Mellark, famous in this town for his bright blue eyes that you can't find anywhere else. I scan the pastries and breads they have.

"Can I have a dozen red velvet cupcakes, please?" I ask, pointing to the cupcakes. He nods and silently grabs a box and begins inserting the cupcakes in.

The cupcakes are for a friend's going away party. My boyfriend, in fact. My only friend. Gale Hawthorne. He's going to war.

Since we were in sophomore year, all Gale could talk about was enlisting into the army. _Fighting for his country,_ he said. I told him he was crazy. After all, he wanted to join right after high school ended. He's spent his whole life in school, preparing to be something amazing, but decides to be a soldier instead, throwing his life away. Not that Gale couldn't be a soldier, I'm sure he'd be able to be on the front lines. He's tall, muscular, good with weapons. Everything you'd want in a guy winning the Medal of Honor.

"Is that all?" Peeta asks, breaking my thought. I quickly nod and hand him twenty dollars. But he shakes his head and hands it back. I raise an eyebrow. "I know about your friend.. Consider it a goodbye present."

"Thank you," I mumble, fiddling with my wallet, trying not to look into his eyes. Girls say that they mesmerize you; enchant you. I know a lot of girls like him, but what's not to like about the bakery's son? He's a stocky build and medium height with bright blue eyes and ashy blonde hair that falls in waves over his forehead. Gorgeous, but no girl can ever seem to catch up with the sociable Peeta Mellark. He's always talking to girls, but never seems romantically interested, as girls say. Caught up on a girl he'll never catch, I hear through rumors.

"Oh, and uh, Katniss?" He asks, looking into my eyes hopefully, "Do you think you could uh, meet at the airport and meet me at Gate B sixteen tomorrow?" Why would he want me to see him there? It's the same gate Gale will be going through tomorrow, so why not? I nod. "Thanks," he gives me a shy smile.

"Well, meet you there," I say softly as I walk out of the bakery and back to the busy sidewalk.

Why would Peeta Mellark, of all people, want me to meet him at the same gate Gale will be flying through? Why would he be flying to Iraq? He's not going into the war, is he? Why doesn't he want someone like Glimmer, or Cashmere, the girls who always fawn over him, to give him one last goodbye? Or is this just one huge get together with all the popular people? I'd get left out for sure.

I continue questioning Peeta Mellark's purpose and what he's doing in Iraq until I finally reach the small shack that is my house. I sigh as I open the door to find Hazelle, Gale's mom, and my mom cleaning and cooking.

Prim has Posy, Gale's little sister, sitting on the couch, playing with old dolls, covered in homemade clothing that Prim and I had made when we were much younger, now passed onto Posy. Posy giggles as Prim changes her doll into another outfit.

Vick and Rory chase each other around the house, Rory distracted by watching Prim laugh with Posy. It's no secret that Rory has a bit of a crush on my sister, not something I completely approve of, but if anyone should be happy, it's Prim.

Finally, Gale arrives, bringing a couple of his other friends, Thom and some of his other friends who have been put into the same group as Gale has in the army. Thom gives me a good-natured hug before walking over to Prim, sliding his arms under her armpits and hugging her, spinning her around. Rory stands behind all of us, a look of jealousy on his face as Prim is hugged. I can't help but laugh. Gale quirks an eyebrow, but I give him a _tell you later _look and he just gives me a smile and a small kiss.

"So Gale, you ready for the army?" My mother asks.

He gives my mother a wide grin before responding, "More ready than I'll ever be. Let's just hope I don't go crying off when we get to the base!" His friends laugh loudly, nearly breaking my eardrums. Not in Gale and I's ten years of being friends, or dating have I ever seen him cry, much less be sad. He usually stays either emotionless, angry, or just teases me.

Soon enough, the future soldiers are drinking everything from tequila to gin to white liquor, all picked up from Haymitch's liquor store and bar. I doubt that the old drunk even cared when they bought the ten cases of alcohol. Everyone is laughing, talking, generally having a good time.

Gale wraps his arm around my shoulder, yelling, "Having fun, Catnip?" I laugh at him as he stumbles on both his words and feet. I nod and he walks over to his friends, whispering something before they all begin to sing old folk songs that we learn in elementary school. We all join in at the end, singing the Valley Song.

By the end of the party, everyone is full of either alcohol or food and exhausted. Prim and I begin waving to people who begin to leave, holding plastic boxes full of leftover food we insisted they keep for their family.

"Well that was quite a party, wasn't it Catnip?" Gale laughs, still drunk. I sit on the couch with him, trying not to notice Prim and Rory hugging a little too tightly.

"Oh, definitely," I respond, nodding. I take a sip of Gale's red solo cup sitting on the light wooden table filled with trash. I wrinkle my nose when I realize what it is. Vodka and orange juice.

"Catnip can't handle it?" Gale teases, punching my arm lightly in a joking manner. I roll my eyes and set the cup back down to the only available space on the table.

"Whatever, Soldier Hawthorne," I reply. He laughs and puts his arm around me, squeezing me uncomfortably. Gale and I aren't much for physical contact, even when we're dating. I think the most physical contact we've ever had is kissing. Small kisses, no making out or anything. But then again, he's drunk. I only pray that he doesn't get drunk anytime in the future.

We continue to joke and laugh about old times, trying to distract ourselves from tomorrow. But soon enough, it's three in the morning and Gale's mother insists that they have to go home.

"I've for a surprise for you tomorrow, Katniss!" Gale yells as the door closes. Prim grins mischievously, but I decide to ignore it. I've had enough for one night.

OxO

"_Flight 1028 to Baghdad, Iraq leaving in ten minutes, please go to Gate B sixteen for take off,_" The intercom says. I breathe in and out quickly. Gale, Gale, Gale. Why is he so stupid? Why did he have to join the army? I'm losing my only friend, my best friend! I should have convinced him more. I should have tried when I could. But now he's leaving. For good.

Gale sits proudly, anxiously, in his seat. He wears the uniform well though. I see a man with a duffle bag, much like Gale's, walking around, looking for a seat. I know those blonde curls anywhere. Peeta Mellark, of course. I bite my tongue. He's going into the army.

I sit there silently, not even trying to talk to Gale, avoiding any eye contact. I couldn't utter a word if I tried. Every time he says something, I shoot it down with silence. Prim gives me a look, but then I start avoiding her too.

"_Flight 1028 to Baghdad, Iraq is now ready. Passengers please walk to Gate B sixteen to board the plane_," the intercom says. Now I regret my quietness. I should have talked to Gale, calmed him down. But by the looks of him, he looks excited. I still haven't spoken to Peeta Mellark.

"Gale, I want to wish you good luck. Remember, you'll do great. I know that. You are better than all of them. Remember what our fathers taught you before.." I trail off, but I have to continue my speech. "Look, you're my best friend, my boyfriend, and don't you forget that, alright? I promise to write you as soon as I get home. I'll write you every week, you just write back, alright? Please be safe, please, please.." I begin to sob. Gale's features soften as he pulls me into another hug, my head in his chest.

"Catnip, trust me, we'll win this war. As long as they have me, of course. I'll write you back.. I promise. Just don't get yourself in trouble, alright Everdeen?" Gale smiles. How can he be smiling at a time like this?

"Alright, Hawthorne," I manage to give him a sad smile.

"Oh, Katniss, I forgot to tell you!" Gale exclaims, sounding relieved that he remembered.

"What?"

"Look, I wanted to tell you in case I.. You know.. Well anyways, I wanted to tell you that I loved you okay? No matter what, I'll always love you. Remember that, alright? Here," Gale says, pulling out a diamond ring. I have nothing to say. It's so quick. Too sudden. "Katniss, marry me when I get back. I'll give you time. Tell me what you want to do when you write me!" And all of a sudden, he's gone. I stand alone.

Peeta Mellark. My last mission.

He stands in the back of the line, his plane ticket in his right hand, duffle bag strap on his left shoulder. Although I doubt he's ever done any real shooting or anything, he's strong. He looks good in his uniform. Handsome.

_You're dating Gale_.

"Peeta!" I yell, grabbing his attention. He looks up from his phone and his eyes light up as I run up to him.

"Katniss? You really came here to say goodbye? I didn't really think you would.. Thanks," he mumbles.

"Why did you want me to come here? We've haven't talked since we were younger," I say, biting my lip.

_Right after my dad died and my mom completely checked out on us_, I want to add. But I don't.

"Why me?" I ask curiously. He gives me a shy smile before answering.

"I don't know.. You're just, uh, I um.. like you.. But I'm going to die here anyways, so it doesn't really matter if you liked me back, now would it?" Peeta says, blushing. He looks down and fiddles with his phone case, taking the silicone case on and off. Nervous habit, I suppose.

Peeta Mellark does not like me. I'm probably getting punk'd right about now. In any second, cameras will come popping out from behind the seats and I'll feel embarrassed.

"I'll write you," is my only answer.

"That would be great," he answers, "Now I know that you don't know me, but trust me Katniss.. If I do come back, can you just.. Please tell me how you feel and don't lie. It's alright if you don't like me back. I can face rejection," he says. I begin to cry again, and I hug him. "And I know you're dating Gale too, so I'm sorry.. But in case you guys don't work out, just talk to me.."

"_Last call for Flight 1028 in Baghdad, Iraq_," the intercom says. I break the hug, and give him a huge kiss on the cheek, regretting it immediately.

_Thanks, stupid brain._

"Bye Katniss," he waves, smiling sadly. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I watch the doors close. I watch the airplane fly away from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, trying to hold in my tears.

OxO

"So what was that all about with Mellark's son?" My mother asks, giving me a smile. Lately my mom has been trying to have girl talk with me, smiling and laughing at anything I say even when it's not really that funny. But the neglecting can't be just forgotten about completely.

"Nothing really," I mumble, picking at the mashed potatoes, trying to avoid any future conversation involving the boy with the bread.

"Oh, please! Don't pretend like we didn't see you with him!" Prim exclaims, jamming her fork into the table, successfully sticking it through the wood. I roll my eyes and take the fork out of the table and replace it with a new one.

"I was just giving him a quick goodbye, since he was leaving and I knew him," I mutter, still not in the mood. I stick a mouthful of Greasy Sae's mystery meat, which I picked up after we left the airport. Prim still doesn't look satisfied with my answer, and surprisingly, not even my mom.

"Does Katniss have feelings for Peeta Mellark?" My mom teases.

"No," I reply gruffly, "I'm dating Gale, did you not get that?" We continue eating in silence, but Prim still manages to give me some teasing glances.

As I get ready for bed and get into the covers with Prim I have questions for myself.

_Peeta or Gale?_

Rebirth or destruction is the real question.

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**So how did you guys like the first chapter? Any suggestions? Thanks for reading, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the feedback! Also, a HUGE thank you to Jacking. Peeta's. Style for editing, writing many parts of this story, and creating the title. **

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I play with the small diamond ring, trying to ignore the pencil and paper sitting before me. What can I write to Gale after he's given me this? "_Sorry, but I don't think I'm ready for marriage, even after dating for three years?" _

And then there's Peeta too.

I finally focus and begin writing to Gale, a little easier than I imagine writing to Peeta would be.

_Dear Gale,_

_I love you. I already miss you so much. I wish you didn't have to go. Remember what our fathers have taught us. They died heroes and I hope you become a hero too, without the dying part, of course. I love you so much. _

_Katniss _

I can't bring myself to talk about the engagement. It's too much. I don't know what to say. I need more time to think about it. I'm sure with a couple hours of thinking I'll know that Gale is the one for me. But something feels wrong about marrying Gale.

Time will determine the situation, my dad had once told me. I laughed and thought that it was stupid, because I always thought that once you have that feeling then it's there. But lately, I've been following my father's advice.

Gale and I's fathers were in the war in Iraq when it had first started. I remember crying as I watched my father disappear. I didn't know Gale back then. Our fathers were in the same troop, supposedly good friends in battle, saving each other's lives quite a few times. But then came a time when they were both stuck in a situation that they could not get out of. They decided to camp out in an old abandoned building with the rest of their troop. Apparently our fathers had gotten a feeling that maybe there was going to be an attack. They got all of them out of the building before something bad could ever happen. Sent them off to fight the other battles that went on outside. Only an hour later, the building in which our fathers were in was bombed. The building exploded, reducing our dads to bits. Nothing could be buried. Gale and I were only eleven.

Two years later, we were met by Gale dropping his pencil in science, a class which he failed in and I excelled in, and when I handed it back to him he smiled at me. I frowned and turned back to my work. But he continued to try to talk to me for four months when I finally obliged and began trusting him, little by little. Soon enough, the trust was at a maximum and Gale asked me out when I had turned fifteen, when everyone was leaving after a small get together at my house. I thought about how all of the other girls at my school had boyfriends, and although I wasn't one to follow the crowds, I wasn't going to say no and let these girls keep telling me that I'd never have a boyfriend. But I've grown to love Gale as a boyfriend.

But now there's also Peeta in the picture. Why did he have to ruin it and tell me that I was the girl he had been chasing? I was with Gale, and now I have second thoughts.

I look at the blank sheet of paper before starting to write Peeta's letter. I bite my lip, unsure of what to say. What are you supposed to say to some guy you've never really talked to? It wasn't like he was my friend, not even my acquaintance. A stranger that I've seen walking through the halls before, a stranger who everyone adores, and just so happens to be a stranger who also saved my life. I plant my face against the creaking wooden table, regretting my promise to write him. I bite my pen before writing in my messy, thin handwriting.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I don't really know what to say. We've never really talked before, except for maybe the empty words we exchanged at the bakery._

_And the bread,_ I want to write, but I can't bring my hand to scribble it down. It was nearly eight years ago; I doubt he even remembers it. I try to keep my focus on writing his letter, and finally manage to write something down.

_The bakery is actually quite lonely without you. Your mother and your two brothers, Rye and Josh, are helping out in the front and long story short, things haven't been as great as it probably would have been if you were still working. _

_I miss you. It's an odd feeling, missing you, since we're practically strangers. I miss Gale too. I'm so sorry that we never got to know each other before you left. I'm sorry that I can't like you the way you do. I'm with Gale, and I can't change that. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you. I hope you understand. Maybe we can become friends first? I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel right now. My head is filled with all of these feelings and I don't think I should start saying the wrong things before we all get the wrong idea._

Teardrops begin to splatter the paper, distorting most words. I sigh, deciding I don't care, I continue writing.

_I hope you're safe and come back home soon. This place isn't the same without you. Don't let Gale read this, please. _

_Sincerely, _

_Katniss Everdeen_

The creamy white paper looks as though I had walked with it through the pouring rain, drenched with my tears. I can only hope he knows it's from me.

I quickly take the envelopes that I have sitting beside Gale's perfectly dry letter, and scribble down the addresses and slide the letters in. I take a deep breath in and another breath out, suddenly overcome with sleepiness. I get one of Gale's faded grey shirts from one of my drawers and quickly slip it on before inhaling the scent of it. Apples and oranges, with a hint of alder smoke. My vision begins to become fuzzy and tears start to trail down my cheeks yet again, the smell of Gale suddenly bringing back memories and the pain of him gone. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and retire to my bed and cover my body with an old creamy white afghan blanket.

But I never fall asleep. My mind keeps me awake, all night.

OxO

Light begins to shine through the dusty plastic shutters, flooding my room with brightness. I unwelcome it by pulling the strings of the shutters to close the sun.

I walk out of my creaking door like a zombie, my head down, my hair all over my face. I don't even try to tuck my stringy hair behind my ears.

"Would like something to eat? You look like you've seen a ghost," my mother laughs, trying to be cheerful. I roll my eyes but I remind myself that she can't see me. I crumple my body against the couch, my knees tucked under my chin, my arms wrapped around my legs. The clunky television in front of me is a mirror and I do indeed look like I've seen a ghost. Or perhaps maybe I am the ghost.

My mom sets a plate of steaming food onto the coffee table, savory sausages and scrambled eggs. Probably extra money that she had from my father's compensation money. I can't eat though. I can't eat knowing that my boyfriend, who could be my fiancé, and a boy who's saved my life, are thousands of miles away, fighting for their country.

I stay motionless on the couch for a long time, probably a little too long, thinking. What could I have said to make both of them stay here? What if they die? I didn't try hard enough to save them.

Eventually I get up and get dressed and head out the door, not even knowing where I'm going. The forest? The Hob?

No. I end up at The Mellark's Bakery.

I drag my feet inside. It feels like a million years ago that I was here, when in reality, it's been only two days. From what I hear, Peeta's mother, Aileen, and his two brothers, Josh and Rye, have been working Peeta's part here. I wrinkle my nose as I watch Peeta's mother give a fake smile towards a costumer before I walk up.

"What're you doing here?" Aileen sneered, her entire demeanor changing from the once happy-to-help-the-customer attitude to the kind of tone I would use describing Prim's cat, Buttercup.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes before speaking. "Just wanted to get something is all," I give her a plastic grin. Rye, Peeta's twenty year old brother, comes up behind Aileen and gives me a mega-watt smile before smoothly getting in front of his mother.

"Mom, let me take care of this lovely customer," Rye winks. I laugh loudly as he tries to flirt, trying to grab my hand and kissing it.

Aileen widens her eyes. "I don't need you kissing the hand of a Seam brat! You don't need their germs!" She slaps him behind the head. Hard. I widen my eyes and bite my tongue, suddenly terrified.

"What did you say about flattering the customer, mom?" Rye asks innocently, giving me a mischievous smile.

"I'm sure Peeta's flattered her enough," Aileen grumbles, "Boy's no good, it's probably better if he just stays there, dies there.." She stomps to the back of the store, and pushes the door open with the sign at the top labeled _Employees Only_.

How could someone wish for their son to die? I could never wish for my child, my own flesh and blood, to die. Ever. The thought alone makes my skin crawl. Honestly, that's what I'm scared of. What if my child decides he wants to go to war, and dies there in the enemy's hands? I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Wants to be brave, follow his grandfather's foot steps by being the sacrifice of the troop. Just another casualty of a war. I can't stand losses.

I look back up from the counter and back up to Rye's uneasy smile, trying to calm me down unsuccessfully.

"She says that a lot, and hits a lot.. Don't think that it's unusual or anything, Katniss." Rye grins as he says my name. I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"What?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. Is he trying to make fun of my name?

During freshman year, a group of popular girls, consisting of Clove Stevens, Glimmer Rambin, Cashmere Till, and Enobaria Embrassio all thought it was just hilarious to make fun of my name, calling me Katpiss instead of Katniss. It was completely stupid and immature, considering that I never did anything to them. Gale just told me to ignore them and took me out to the archery range to let my anger out, plastering their MySpace photos onto the target.

"Nothing," Rye laughs again, making me go across the counter to punch him in the arm. He raises his eyebrows and looks at me in mock horror.

I grit my teeth in annoyance. "What do you want, Rye? God damn, you're annoying. I don't understand how Peeta could have put up with you all this time." I roll my eyes with a puff. Rye's eyes widen.

"Wait, you know Peeta? Shit, he thought you didn't even know his name! Damn, is he going to be happy about this!" Rye cheered, clapping his hands together, laughing like a little girl. I couldn't help but snicker at his red face, flushed with excitement.

"I said goodbye to him at the airport," I say, rolling my eyes.

Rye, seeming extremely surprised by this, takes off his flour-caked apron, dumps it on the floor despite his mothers screeching protests about someone having to man the counter, and jumps over to the customer side of the counter. I look at him quizzically, knitting my eyebrows.

"Miss Everdeen, as Peeta's older brother and the only one who could actually stand listening him talk about you," Rye said, making me blush, "I think I deserve a little break hearing about this _heart-wrenching, romantic_ goodbye."

"If you didn't know, Rye," I give him a glare, "I have a _boyfriend_. Gale Hawthorne. Do you know him?" Rye's eyes enlarge to the size of saucers as he shakes his head.

"What?" I ask, suddenly self conscious of myself. Does he not approve of my boyfriend? Why should I even care? I should be walking away right now; or flipping him off. But I'm actually truly curious as to what he thinks.

Rye just continues to shake his head. I punch his arm again, hoping to get him to talk using violence. But he remains quiet for a short moment before speaking.

"I know I shouldn't be up in your personal business Katniss-" Rye says, but I interrupt him.

"But you are," I roll my eyes. He gives me a short laugh, but it's deadly and almost cold.

"Yeah, whatever. But anyways, Gale isn't a good guy, Katniss. I've heard the things he's said about you. They might be great in the view of Glimmer Rambin or Clove Stevens, but from what I hear, you're pretty innocent," Rye says quickly, looking at my face for any emotion I might have. I just narrow my eyes.

"What are you trying to say, Rye? That Gale, my boyfriend of over four years, is not the guy I've been dating? You think you know him better than I do?" I snap, walking away from him quickly. I can hear him stomp closer and closer to me as I hear his short, tired puffs.

"Calm down Katniss," Rye says, still puffing. "Can you stop walking? You're too fast! Wait up!"

"Rye, you really think I'm going to date Peeta after I've been dating Gale for so long? I can't move on that quickly! So stop trying to be your brother's wingman!" I yell, furrowing my brow. I see streetwalkers watching, but I couldn't care less.

"I just want to help out my brother. I understand, Katniss, just hear me out, alright? Gale isn't the guy you think you know. Trust me. Two years ago, during my Senior year and your Sophomore year, I had gym with Gale. Damn, he would talk about how you guys would always meet up at the Slag Heap and.. You get what I mean Katniss.. I don't expect you to just dump Gale and go for my brother. But as your _friend_," Rye grins as he emphasizes the word _friend_, "I feel like I need to help you."

"You aren't my friend," I growl, gritting my teeth. Why does he expect me to believe him? I mean, Gale has been my friend for six years, and for four of those years, has been my boyfriend. I remember him bragging about his experiences at the Slag Heap before we dated, when we were about fourteen. But would he really tell his friends about that when him and I were dating? Would he really lie just to make himself sound cooler? Am I just like those other girls he bragged about being with?

"Just take what I'm telling you in consideration," Rye begs. "For my brother."

"Why would I care about Peeta when I have Gale?" I ask coldly.

"Because my brother loves you," Rye says casually.

"No he doesn't."

"Yes, he does."

He didn't tell me that he loved me at the airport, okay? And, not only that, you just said he likes me. Likes. It's probably no more than a schoolboy crush," I argue.

"This is more than a simple _crush_, Katniss. Jesus, didn't you ever notice Peety stalking you? Damn, you are oblivious to everything, huh?" Rye laughs, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to someone who never talked to me!" I roll my eyes. "It's not my fault he never went up to me and tried!"

"He thought Gale would beat the shit out of him."

"I doubt Gale would really do that."

"He did when Cato Evans asked you out during Sophomore year," Rye protested, "I remember Cato having to sit out during wrestling season for two whole months for the things Gale did. Did you know that?"

"Shut up, Rye. Boys don't like me, boys don't look at me, boys don't even talk to me, okay? Get that through your fat head, I have Gale, that's it, so stop trying to screw up the one thing I have."

With a defeated sigh, he says, "Just think about it, alright Katniss?" but before I can respond, he's already gone, his blonde hair mixed in with all of the other merchants in the square. I groan and drag my feet back to the Seam, unable to think correctly.

Was Rye just lying to me to be a good brother? Or is he being honest with me? Would Gale really say those kinds of things? He's been my boyfriend for over three years. Has he been making rumors for this long for the sake of a good reputation, to sound cool in front of his friends? My brain fought itself on who's side I was on. Internal conflicts always ended with late night calls with Gale, but this time I couldn't do that. I put my face in my hands; stressed. I obviously couldn't talk to Prim about this. Sure, she's fourteen and probably knows what people do at the Slag Heap, and can probably keep a secret. But I couldn't risk it if something slipped out about the engagement. Prim and my mother hadn't seen it. I don't think anybody had; it was just between Gale and I, we just looked like a regular couple who were going to miss each other dearly, not two people who were fresh out of high school, one of them going to go fight a war, the other desperate to find the answers to mind-racking decisions.

Before I retire to bed, I walk over to my desk, the letters and a small old flickering desk lamp occupying the top. I quickly grab Peeta's letter, and before I have any second thoughts, I immediately rip it to small pieces. I ignore the pain in my heart and turn the light off before unsuccessfully trying to sleep, attempting to shut off my annoying brain.

But even as I fall asleep, nightmares continue to make me scream to the top of my lungs, watching as my rebellious boyfriend continues to shoot bullets into the boy with the bread, eventually seeing Peeta drop to the ground, unmoving in the pool of blood.

Is that what will happen if I pick Peeta? Gale will kill him? I shake my head, trying to remove such negative thinking, but it returns swiftly. That scenario is unlikely, nonetheless it's a frightening possibility.

I know my decision now.

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**So what do you think Katniss' decision is? What did you guys think? Good or bad? Thank you for reading! Please review!**


	3. Hiatus

**lol hi.**

**I'm seriously stuck with this story and I don't know what to say and all of my thoughts are messed up right now, so I'll be officially putting this story on hiatus. **

**i guess you guys already noticed that there haven't updated for like two months, lol. but i guess i'll put say it officially for now. **

**i'm working on another story called paper cuts and i'm almost finished with the third chapter, so i guess you guys can check that out if you'd like?**

**lol okay thank you guys so much and sorry for making you wait and thinking this was a new chapter and idk im sorry.**

**-Alison**


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